I DIDN’T KNOW PAC, NIPSEY, OR KOBE, I KNEW FREEZE…

I woke up this morning around 5:30 AM. I didn’t sleep well last night. Yesterday, I took two walks, spent way too much time on the phone, and spaced out most of the day. I hugged and kissed my wife and son a little more than usual. I looked at the nearly 10 years of photos I’ve taken of Richmond’s hip-hop scene — looking for pictures of Freeze. So far, that’s how I’m managing the unmanageable. That’s how I’ve started to deal with great sadness.

I’ve read a lot of Facebook posts. I spoke to my closest friends (my brothers) about what Josh “Official Freeze” Reed meant to me — to us. Aria and I discussed our love for Sam and the boys, and our heartbreak for his entire family. Due to the nature of my phone calls, Cam caught on a bit and started asked questions about “Mr. Freeze,” his friend that makes his favorite waffles. “Daddy, Does Mr. Freeze own the waffle shop?” he asked.

While I felt comfortable scrolling through photos, I couldn’t muster the courage to scroll my latest text chain with Freeze. I know the last text he sent me, just a few days ago, was one of encouragement. In quarantine, I’ve started creating beats and I asked Josh to listen to them and tell me what he thought. He did. And his feedback was honest, as I’ve always known him to be. And positive, as I’ve always known him to be. He told me to keep working and when we can — we’d get together and work on furthering my production career (ha). That was just a few days ago.

Today, I’m wrestling with the hard realization that we won’t have that opportunity.

The second hip-hop show I ever shot in Richmond was in the fall of 2011 at The Camel. It was the first time I photographed Charged Up Ent., and subsequently, the first time I shot pics of Official Freeze. I can’t remember if I met him that night but a few weeks later, Charged Up invited me to their studio (then on Broad Street – across from the Children’s Museum) and I spent a few hours with the hip-hop collective. It was there where I truly met Josh for the first time. He was behind the boards and played some records he was working on – I believe for other artists. I remember him telling me a little of his background and how he was committed to really making a positive impact. It was a short but lasting conversation.

Since that first meeting, I have witnessed first-hand his commitment to making a positive impact on the lives of others. He has been a consistent source of positive inspiration for me, and so many others. I’ve seen him grow in every way imaginable. I’ve heard him speak about black economic independence, the critical role of black husbands and fathers, the need to be spiritually aligned, and most recently, the fight going on here in Richmond for social justice (which Freeze had been out several nights in an effort to keep people safe).

And he didn’t just talk about it, he did it. Whether it was music, his culinary achievements, his business pursuits, his mentoring, I saw him do it all. And it was a source of motivation for me and everyone he spent time with. He wore his passion on his sleeve. And the love he displayed for his family — I can’t begin to describe.

At this time, I truly don’t have the ability to give a proper discourse on all things Josh “Official Freeze” Reed. I will say that while the hip-hop community still mourns the tremendous losses of legendary figures like Pac and, more recently, Nipsey (as we should), I’ve been thinking to myself — I didn’t know Nipsey Hussle personally: I knew his character through his music, the media, and the economic impact he was making in LA by investing back into his community, and I respected him immensely for that. I view Freeze in that same spirit. Personally, I hold his legacy in Richmond in that realm — with one caveat, I knew Freeze. I knew his heart, his integrity, and his mission. I have seen him making good on his desire to make a positive impact on his community. It’s crazy to me that his race is over now.

I hope there are other columns/articles on Freeze’s legacy and the impact he has made because this is not that. This is just me thinking about my friend: trying to manage the unmanageable.

I’m not the type of guy that goes around and asked people to pray for me, it just not something I do in normal settings. But my relationship with Freeze grew to a point where just about every time I had a conversation with him and we were about to depart, I asked him to pray for me – for us and our families. And every time, he’d stop and pray. I will keep those prayers with me, now. And I’ll continue to send those prayers to his family.

I love you, bro. Rest Easy.